Ahoy, mateys! If you’re looking for some swashbuckling fun, you’ve come to the right place. Pirate jokes are a fantastic way to bring laughter to your family, whether you’re sailing through a long car ride, planning a pirate-themed party, or just need a giggle after a long day.
Below, I’ve organized the best pirate jokes into different categories, from treasure and ships to scallywags and swords. But wait—there’s more! To make things even more fun, each joke comes with three multiple-choice answers. Can you guess the right one? Let’s find out!
Tips for Choosing the Best Pirate Jokes
Keep It Simple – The best pirate jokes are easy to understand and don’t require too much explanation. Short and snappy jokes work best, especially for kids.
Use Classic Pirate Lingo – Look for jokes that include fun pirate words like “Arrr,” “Ahoy,” “Matey,” “Booty,” and “Swashbuckler” to make them feel extra pirate-y!
Make It Age-Appropriate – If you’re telling jokes to kids, stick to lighthearted and silly humor. For adults, you can get a little more clever (or slightly cheeky), but keep it fun!
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Pirate Jokes About Treasure
Why did the pirate bring a chest to the party? Because he wanted to have a “treasure” of fun!
What did the pirate say when he found buried treasure? “This is a real gem of a find!”
Why don’t pirates ever steal from treasure chests? They don’t want to be caught red-handed… or gold-handed!
What did the pirate say to the greedy merchant? “You’re just looking for treasure, but I’m hunting for the best loot!”
Why was the pirate so good at saving money? Because he always kept his treasure in a “golden” account!
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of treasure? Anything that’s worth “golden” dreams!
Why do pirates love treasure hunts? Because it’s all about “digging” for the best surprises!
What did the pirate say after finding his treasure? “Well, this is a real ‘goldmine’!”
Why did the pirate bury his treasure at the beach? Because he wanted to make a “shore” investment!
What’s a pirate’s favorite song about treasure? “Gold Digger’s Delight!”
Why did the pirate use a metal detector? To help him find his “hidden treasures” under the sand!
What did the pirate say when he found a rare diamond? “Now that’s a jewel of a find!”
Why did the pirate refuse to give away his treasure? Because he believed in keeping things “in the family”!
What’s a pirate’s least favorite thing about treasure? “Pirates never share their wealth!”
What did the pirate do when he found treasure? He “plundered” it and kept it for himself!
Pirate Jokes About Ships
Why did the pirate refuse to sail a luxury yacht? Because he preferred “booty”-built ships!
What did the pirate say to the captain of the new ship? “She’s a fine vessel, but does she come with a crew of scallywags?”
Why was the pirate ship always the loudest? Because it had the best “yarr”-chestra!
What do pirates use to stay afloat? Their trusty “sea legs” and their ship, of course!
Why did the pirate ship always win races? Because it had a “stern” determination!
What’s a pirate’s favorite part of their ship? The “bow”—because it’s always the best way to start the day!
Why do pirate ships never get lost? Because they always have the “wind” in their sails!
What did the pirate say when his ship hit a rock? “Ahoy, matey, we’re ‘shored’ for now!”
Why was the pirate ship’s kitchen always a disaster? Because the crew was always “decked out” in flour!
What did the pirate captain say about his ship’s condition? “She’s a bit rough around the edges, but she’s still got the ‘sea’ in her!”
Why do pirates never clean their ships? Because they believe in living a “cluttered” life at sea!
What did the pirate say when his ship sank? “Guess it’s time to go “down” with the ship!”
Why do pirate ships always carry a lot of treasure? Because they know a “golden opportunity” when they see one!
Why did the pirate ship always have the best parties? Because they knew how to “rock the boat”!
Why don’t pirate ships ever get stuck in traffic? Because they’re always sailing ahead of the pack!
Pirate Jokes About Parrots
Why did the pirate bring a parrot to dinner? Because it always had the best “food for thought”!
What did the parrot say to the pirate? “Squawk! Stop hoarding all the gold!”
Why do pirates love parrots? Because they’re the best at giving a “squawk” of approval!
What did the parrot say after hearing a pirate joke? “That’s a real “feather” in your cap!”
Why do pirates take parrots on their adventures? Because they’re the best at “spreading the word”!
What did the pirate say about his parrot’s singing skills? “It’s always “chirping” the right tune!”
Why did the pirate’s parrot always get the last word? Because it had the “final squawk”!
What did the pirate tell his parrot after a long voyage? “You’re the bird of my dreams!”
Why did the parrot sit on the pirate’s shoulder? Because it was “shoulder-ing” the responsibility of humor!
What’s a parrot’s favorite pirate joke? “Polly wants a cracker—and a joke!”
Why did the parrot always look so smug? Because it had the best “bird’s eye view” on all the pirate action!
What did the parrot say when the pirate sang a tune? “That’s music to my beak!”
Why do parrots make terrible pirates? Because they can’t keep a secret—they always “spill the seeds”!
Why did the pirate teach his parrot to repeat phrases? Because he wanted the bird to “echo” his sense of humor!
What did the pirate say to his parrot when they saw land? “Squawk! We’re finally at ‘beak’!”
Pirate Jokes About the Ocean
Why do pirates always swim in the ocean? Because that’s where they find their “sea-sonal” happiness!
What did the pirate say about the ocean’s waves? “It’s a “roll”-ing good time!”
Why did the pirate dive into the ocean? To “sea” what was down there!
What’s a pirate’s favorite thing about the ocean? The “current” events!
Why don’t pirates ever get sunburned at sea? Because they always stay in the “shade” of adventure!
What did the pirate say when he saw a giant whale? “That’s one big ‘sea’ creature!”
Why do pirates like the ocean so much? Because it’s always filled with “aqua”ntances!
Why did the pirate wear a snorkel? Because he was “diving” into new adventures!
What did the pirate say after sailing through a storm? “That was a ‘whale’ of a ride!”
What’s a pirate’s favorite ocean animal? The “fin”-tastic shark!
Why do pirates always sail during sunrise? Because they love to “sea” the day!
What did the pirate captain say when he saw calm waters? “This is the “sea-nery” I’ve been waiting for!”
Why don’t pirates like swimming? Because it’s always too “deep” to be fun!
What did the pirate say when he jumped in the ocean? “Aye, it’s time to make a “splash”!”
Why did the pirate choose the ocean as his home? Because he loves the “blue” horizon!
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Pirate Jokes About Maps
Why did the pirate always carry a map? Because he didn’t want to “get lost at sea”!
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of map? One with a big “X” that marks the spot!
Why did the pirate get frustrated with his map? Because he couldn’t “navigate” his way through it!
What do pirates do when they find a map with no treasure? They say, “This map is a real “dead end”!”
Why do pirates always carry maps to the bar? Because they’re looking for the “treasure” of good drinks!
What did the pirate say after reading his map? “This isn’t a treasure map… it’s just “knot” what I wanted!”
Why did the pirate bring out his map when he was hungry? He was looking for the nearest “dining spot”!
What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of map? One that leads to “X marks the plot”!
Why do pirates prefer old, wrinkled maps? Because they’re “weathered” and have the best stories!
What did the pirate say about his treasure map? “I hope it’s a “shore” thing, not just a wild goose chase!”
Why don’t pirates ever make good cartographers? They can’t stay “on course”!
Why did the pirate refuse to part with his map? Because it was his “compass to riches”!
What did the pirate say when he lost his map? “Now, I’m really ‘off course’!”
Why did the pirate keep his map under lock and key? Because he didn’t want anyone to steal his “treasure plan”!
What did the pirate do when he finally found the treasure map? “I’m “X”cited for this adventure!”
Pirate Jokes About Scallywags
Why did the pirate call everyone “scallywags”? Because it was his favorite “term of endearment”!
What do you call a pirate who can’t keep a secret? A “scallywag” who tells all the “booty” details!
Why do pirates never trust scallywags? Because they always have a “hooked” agenda!
What did the pirate say to the scallywag who didn’t follow orders? “You’re about to feel the “wrath of the sea”!”
Why don’t pirates like scallywags? Because they never “bow” to the captain’s orders!
What did the pirate say to the scallywag who took too much treasure? “You’ve got a “golden” greed problem, mate!”
Why did the pirate captain scold the scallywag? “You’ve got to “sea” your way to the treasure, not just take it!”
What’s the difference between a pirate and a scallywag? Pirates follow the code, scallywags make their own “rules”!
Why did the scallywag join the pirate crew? He thought he’d “sail” into an easy life!
What do you call a pirate who’s always hanging around with scallywags? A “lost cause” on the high seas!
Why was the scallywag always in trouble? Because he couldn’t “catch” a break—always “missing the boat”!
What did the pirate say when he caught a scallywag sneaking onto the ship? “Get off me deck, ye filthy dog!”
Why did the pirate never laugh at a scallywag’s jokes? Because they were always “half-sunken” in humor!
What did the scallywag bring to the pirate party? “Nothing but trouble and a bunch of “bad luck”!”
Why was the pirate captain’s least favorite part of the crew the scallywags? Because they always “rock the boat” in the wrong direction!
Pirate Jokes About Captains
Why did the pirate captain go to school? To “learn the ropes” of leadership!
What did the pirate say about his ship’s captain? “He’s the one who knows how to “steer” us straight!”
Why did the pirate captain wear a big hat? Because he wanted to “top” the crew in style!
What’s the pirate captain’s favorite part of a ship? The “helm”—it’s where all the decisions “steer” from!
Why did the captain always give the orders? Because he knew “no one else could handle the ship”!
What did the crew say when the captain made a great decision? “Aye, Captain, that’s a “course” worth following!”
Why did the pirate captain get mad at his crew? Because they were always “rowing” in the wrong direction!
What did the pirate captain say after a successful voyage? “I’m ‘steering’ you all to treasure!”
Why was the captain so good at keeping the crew in line? Because he always knew how to “navigate” trouble!
Why did the pirate captain always look so serious? Because he had to “chart” the course for everyone else!
What did the pirate captain say about his leadership style? “It’s a ‘sea-soned’ art!”
Why did the captain always insist on keeping a clean ship? Because he didn’t want to be “caught unprepared”!
Why was the pirate captain so good at talking to the crew? Because he always “steered” conversations in the right direction!
What did the pirate captain say when his crew misbehaved? “You’ll be walking the plank if you don’t listen up!”
Why do pirate captains always have the best stories? Because they’ve been “sailing the high seas” for a lifetime!
Pirate Jokes About Walking the Plank
Why did the pirate walk the plank? Because he wanted to take a “dive” into adventure!
What did the pirate say before walking the plank? “I’ll be back—this is just a ‘water’ break!”
Why do pirates love walking the plank? Because it’s the best way to “make a splash”!
Why did the pirate walk the plank backwards? Because he wanted to “step into” a new life!
What do you call it when a pirate walks the plank? A “sea change”!
Why don’t pirates ever take the plank walk seriously? Because they know how to “swim” through any problem!
What’s a pirate’s least favorite part of walking the plank? Getting “wet” feet!
What did the pirate say after walking the plank? “I guess I’ll just have to “dive” into the next adventure!”
Why did the pirate captain order the scallywag to walk the plank? Because he’d been “making waves” with the crew!
Why don’t pirates mind walking the plank? They know how to “keep afloat”!
What did the pirate say when his crew member walked the plank? “That’s one way to ‘sink’ your problems!”
Why was the pirate excited to walk the plank? He loved to “make waves”!
Why do pirates always walk the plank in a hurry? Because they “want to get to the other side” quickly!
What did the pirate say about his walk on the plank? “It’s just another step towards ‘deep’ change!”
Why do pirates never get scared of walking the plank? They know it’s just a “drop in the ocean”!
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Final Thoughts
Well, shiver me timbers! We’ve sailed through 120 hilarious pirate jokes, covering everything from treasure maps to walking the plank. Whether you’re cracking jokes at a pirate-themed party, entertaining the little buccaneers at home, or just looking for a good laugh, these pirate jokes are sure to bring smiles (and maybe a few groans—ye be warned!).
Pirates may have been known for sailing the high seas and searching for treasure, but who knew they also had such a great sense of humor? So next time you hear a hearty “Arrr!” or spot an eye patch and a hook, you’ll be armed with some top-notch pirate jokes to keep the fun going.
Why do people love pirate jokes so much?
Pirate jokes are fun, silly, and easy to remember—plus, who doesn’t love a good “Arrr” joke? They’re perfect for kids, adults, and anyone who enjoys a bit of high-seas humor. Also, pirates are just plain cool, and their over-the-top personalities make them perfect for jokes!
What’s the best way to tell a pirate joke?
To really sell a pirate joke, use your best pirate voice—throw in an “Arrr!”, squint like you’ve been sailing for weeks, and maybe even wave around an imaginary hook or sword. The more dramatic, the better!
Can I use these pirate jokes at a kids' party?
Absolutely! These jokes are kid-friendly and perfect for pirate-themed birthdays, school events, or just for fun. You can even turn them into a pirate joke contest—whoever tells the best joke with the best pirate accent wins a piece of (chocolate) treasure!